Ottawa Update 29

Well folks, exams are done, the students have been sent home and teacher have all been put back in their boxes until next January. Term one is over, so I guess that means I’m officially 25% journalist. Respectable as that may sound, it’s not quite enough to land me that gushy New York Times job I’ve had my eye on. However, from what I’ve read it would have been more than enough to have had me sent to a concentration camp in Nazi Germany.

Over all, school was different than I expected. Not better or worse, just different. Originally I think I was kinda disappointed with things, but then again any expectations I had going in were based on...nothing really. For the most part, my ideas were more like some abstract kind of concept that I would be mercilessly trained to become a journalist in the vaguely same way that NASA trains their astronauts. That didn’t happen, and although things could have been a little better in some cases it was generally pretty good. I would say that I’m a little smarter now and a little better at putting pen to paper than I was in September. Although, I was pretty damn good goin’ in.

What I am getting is time to work hard at a whole bunch of different things and mentors who can help me out a little while I’m doing it. Who could really ask for any more? I’m working on stuff both inside and outside of school and most of it on my own time. I guess at some point over the last month or two I realized I gotta stop thinking about the millions of things that I’m not getting at college, focus more on what I am and fill the holes on my own. Ultimately, whatever we accomplish in life is up to us and not because of teachers, family, coaches or bosses. So I’m pushing things as far as I can to try and position myself as best as I can for when I re-enter society in 2012.

The one slightly odd side effect of doing nothing but writing, as has been the case over the last few months, is that I don’t really want to do any writing right now. It kinda burns you out, or at least the stuff they ask me to do bores the hell outta me. However at this point writing is the basket where all my eggs are, so write I must. Besides, the public needs me, and just like Mr. Assange I see it as my God-given duty to always give the public what they want.

Now that the first term of school is over I have in my possession three full weeks with which I can do what ever I like. That’s assuming it doesn't involve spending any money or bothering people who are bigger or tougher than me. As wonderful as that may sound, there is one problem. Perhaps it’s the ADD, perhaps it’s the Calvinist teachings I’ve been indoctrinated with or maybe it’s just the wonders of the internet, most likely a combination of all of the above, but for whatever reason time off and I have never been the best combination. Or maybe we’ve gotten along a little too well. Either way, till now when I find myself staring at a calendar with long stretches of non-structure, I’ll often find myself feeling guilt ridden, pissed off and used at the end of it rather than relaxed, happy and fulfilled.

The reason for this is that I inevitably fail to accomplish any of my grandiose plans and deny myself all kinds of wonderful opportunities that come up in the process. So this year I won’t try to write the great Canadian novel, or film an award winning flick. I’m slowly filling up the time with more of the same kinds of things that I’ve been doing over much of the past year. Slow steady movement towards achievable goals that keep the educational ball rolling towards some unknown but glorious future.

I don’t know about you guys, but so far this Christmas is a total dud as far as feelings of warmth, happiness and nostalgia go. I had some of it goin’ on in every December Japan, but ironically over here not so much now that I’m back. I don’t know why, but it could be because I haven’t been to a mall in months, I haven’t turned on the TV to watch a TV show much less some stale, old recycled Christmas flick from 1950s and it could be because we just got our tree up a few days ago. For what ever reason I’m just not feeling it.

That may change this week as the family gets together and hangs out celebrating both my folk’s 45th wedding anniversary and 2010th coming of Santa. We’re throwing a wrench into things because rather than doing the same old boring gift exchange we’re renting a cottage somewhere in the frozen northern tundra of Canada’s wilderness and I guess we’ll do a ton of Coureur des bois type stuff. The others may think this as exciting and adventurous, but all I can think of is The Shining. If I haven’t updated by this time next week call the cops.

Finally, this week’s pic is my latest triumph. I somehow weaseled my way into the Library of Parliament, camera in tow, and fired off a few hundred shots of old Viki. It really is a cool place, a circular room surrounded by 3 stories of books all of which have to do with parliamentary procedure and Canadian law. The whole complex is said to be one of North America’s very best examples of Neo-Gothic architecture and after having spent so much time inside the buildings over the last month my feeling is that it’s all very 19th century 50% romantic and Keatsian but also 50% creepy and Jack the Ripperish.

And on that note take care and have a very Merry Christmas everyone,

Dan.